


Steroids

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-10-19
Updated: 2003-10-19
Packaged: 2018-12-27 06:34:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12075498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Justin gets the brute of Ben's rage instead of Brian in 306.





	Steroids

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

"Hey Ben, is Michael home?" Justin asked as he looked at the bulky professor standing in front of him.

"No, he should be home in a few minutes, why don't you come in and wait," Ben opened the door wide enough for Justin to step thru.

"Michael and Hunter went to store," he offered in way of explanation. "why don't you have a seat?" He pointed to the table.

Justin nodded and sat down.

Three minutes were gone with friendly chitchat when Justin felt the urge to use the bathroom.

"Hey, can I use your bathroom?" He pointed in the direction of the toilet as he began to stand up.

Ben nodded and smiled.

Justin went inside the room and his eyes took in the tidy bathroom. When he was finished peeing, he got up and washed his hands. Wiping his hands on the hand towel he was about to exit when a metallic looking object on the ground near the trashcan caught his eye. Not wanting to be nosy, but wanting to figure out what the hell it was, curiosity eventually prevailed and he walked the short distance over towards the trashcan. He peered at the object and stifled a gasp at what he saw. A used needle.

What the fuck...He shook his head and ripped a square of toilet paper off of the roll and grabbed the needle with it. He knew it wasn't any of his business, but he wanted to know what it was, so he'd just use the excuse of seeing it on the ground. Hey, stick as close to the truth as you always can.

He came out of the bathroom and looked at Ben.

"I found this on the ground..." Justin let his voice trail off as he held up the needle wrapped in toilet paper for Ben to inspect.

Ben's eyes widened and fury suddenly engulfed the once purified blues.

"What the fuck do you think your doing, snooping around here like it's your own fucking house, you should mind your own fucking business," He exploded, practically ripping Justin's hand off in the process of taking away the needle from the blonde.

Justin stared in obvious amazement for a couple seconds before he grabbed his bearings, and he steeled his eyes.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" He asked, his voice raising several octaves.

It happened so fast, Justin would be hard pressed to recall what happened. He was talking to Ben, having a heated discussion, and the next thing he knew he was pressed against the wall opposite the one he came out off, his upper back hitting and scratching against a sharp edge of an umbrella.

"Shut the fuck up you stupid fuck, nothing's wrong with me," He jerked Justin's body out of the closet and walked fast to his room, slamming the door behind him. Justin felt tears prickle his eyes and felt something warm dribble down his back.

Shit.

He was bleeding.

He grabbed the backpack he left at the table and ran out of the door, slamming it shut behind him. Fuck Rage, he thought as he looked at his watch, seeing 10 minutes had passed. It didn't seem that long. He had to hurry home. He could run inside, grab a new shirt, and run to the bus stop to go to the diner. He limped to the bus stop and tears swam before his vision. He opened his eyes wider, hoping to stop the tears from making trails down his cheeks. He got in the bus and sat down, trying not to apply pressure to the wound. He would fix it at home. Hopefully his whole shirt wouldn't be soaked by then.

\----------------------------- 

Two Hours Later : 

"Better," Brian looked up from the drawing that Justin had made for him for Carnivale, his gaze locked onto the artist sitting beside him on his desk, the position they had had a couple days earlier before Michael had interrupted them. Not like they were doing anything, though. Of course not.

Justin raised an eyebrow.

Brian cleared his throat and looked down at the drawing again to try and distract him of the fact that the blonde kept brushing up against him. Whenever Justin even made a slight movement, resulting in rubbing softly against him, Brian could feel it like fire.

"It's good," Hazel eyes stared at azure.

Justin held his gaze.

"That's good because I didn't really want to do it again," He joked, wanting to move but somehow captivated by the staring contest that they seemed to be in.

"Oh yeah?" Brian continued to look at him.

Justin made a move to get up and immediately froze.

 

_FUCK!_

He felt a pinch of pain, and a thin line of blood begin to dribble down from his bandage. He was bleeding again. His bandage must have torn. No way was he getting up now; something might have soaked thru, and he really didn't want to tell him what happened; not like he would anyway. But he hated lieing to Brian. He'd lied to him enough already.

"What?" Brian asked, concern starting to tread it's way into his voice. He'd seen the slight look of pain and fear that had crossed the eyes that he had gazed into many times.

"I just...headache," He lied, "I've got to get my pills from my backpack, can I use your bathroom?"

"Yeah, here, I'll get you some water," Brian hurried up out of his seat to go and get some water. Shit, had he not been taking his pills, now that he had lef---went to Ian? He'd hated taking them when they were living together...now he'd probably been neglecting them, and he's probably just about a second away from getting a migraine. Had he not told Ian about the prom? He felt a strange glee start inside him that he hadn't shared such a special moment with the chin rat. Of course Justin couldn't remember what had happened. He tried to swallow the tightness in his throat, as he walked swiftly towards Justin who stood, his front facing Brian, his messenger bag strap crossing over his right shoulder. Brian thought it odd he was carrying the backpack, but didn't question it, just handed him the water.

"Thanks." Justin managed before slowly turning around, and hurrying up to the bathroom. Once he got inside, he closed the door, forgetting to lock it, and dropped his bag down on the toilet. He had hoped the way the strap was situated on his shoulder, that Brian couldn't see anything, and he obviously didn't. 

 

_Probably too busy staring at my ass._ He chuckled at the thought that Brian Kinney still wanted him, Justin Taylor, but he shut off his thinking as he placed the water onto the sinks edge, and opened the flap to his bag, pulling out the extra bandage that he had. He placed the bandage on the edge of the sink, and also took out the tape to keep it in place. Once both objects were on the edge of the sink, he pulled off his shirt too fast, and hissed at the pain.

Carefully and methodically, he unwound the bandage from his wound, and grabbed a couple squares of toilet paper, wrapping the used bandage in it and tossing it into the garbage can.

"Fuck," He said softly, and turned around, examining the gash in his upper shoulder. It would probably leave a mark. Before he could lean down and grab the new white gauze, the door opened.

\----------------------------- 

Brian sighed as his hand gripped the bathroom's door handle. He was only making sure he wasn't cowered in the corner with a migraine or anything. Of course that was only it. Nothing like he wanted to tell him how much he meant to him, how beautiful he still looked, how much he wanted him to come ho--

 

_Stop it!_ He ordered himself. He just wanted to make sure that he was okay. He reassured himself as he opened the door, not prepared at all for what he saw inside the bathroom.

  
\----------------------------- 

"What the fuck?!" Brian exploded. He saw the slightly bloody looking gash on the top of his ex-lover's right shoulder. Who the hell marred his baby's skin?! He was going to kill them!

"Brian!" Justin called out, clearly surprised by the interruption. He quickly turned around, hiding his back from the infuriated man in front of him.

"What the hell do you think your doing, barging in here, a little privacy would be nice!" Justin said, vehemently. He was trying to sound angry with Brian, but he was sure that he could hear his voice shaking.

"Who the hell did that?!" Brian stated, and walked fast towards the blonde to get a better look at the wound.

Justin jerked away from him when he got too close.

"I-I hit the door, an open door, at-at IFA, my studio door, that's all," He replied, unconvincingly.

"Right. Justin..." The auburn haired man's voice trailed off as he slowly started to circle around the unmoving man, but Justin moved to intercept him, not letting him get a closer look at him.

"Justin-"  
"No, it's nothing, just leave it alone, and go away so I can finish putting a little bandage on it."

Brian looked at him incredulously.

"If you think that I'm going to just leave you alone, your crazy. Now, let me see. Please," He said quietly, hoping to coax the blonde into letting him see.

Justin sighed and gingerly turned around, closing his eyes tightly.

Brian bit his lip hard to stop the gasp from getting out of his throat. It looked horrible to him. Of course, it was probably not as bad as what his mind told him, but he wasn't thinking rationally. Whoever had done this was a dead man. A dead fuckin' man.

"It's no big deal, I just fell and hit the table in my ap-" Justin tried again.  
"I thought you said you hit the door at IFA," Brian replied, keeping his voice steady. Now he knew someone had done this to him. He tried to keep the bottle on his rage.

Justin froze but couldn't get his mouth to work to try and give him another excuse.

Brian suddenly had a sickening thought.

"Did that little fiddle fuck do this?!" Brian's voice escalated, as his hands clenched into fists.

"No, no no, Ethan didn't do this, I told you what happened, I-I fell down the stairs-"  
"The story keeps fucking changing Justin!" By now, he was yelling.

Justin jerked away from his loud voice, and Brian got a look at the fear that was in his eyes. Fear that he had caused.

"Justin...I didn't mean to yell at you," He said softly, as he hesitantly reached out and rubbed his hands up and down Justin's arms, to calm the tense brick he was touching.

Slowly, the tenseness deflated until it was gone. Brian held onto his hips, and turned him around, holding him against him. Justin's bright colored head was safely lodged underneath his chin.

Justin sighed at the familiar position, feeling safer then he had in the months he had left Brian, left him to go with a man who could never have his heart. It belonged to Brian.

Brian kissed the top of his head, and gently ran his cheek against the place he kissed, the gesture he had adapted to calming the younger man after the bashing.

Justin melted in his arms and nuzzled against his neck, his grip tightening on the older man's hips.

Brian hated to bring what happened up again, but he had to know who'd done this.

"Justin," He began.

Justin immediately tensed, and began to pull away but Brian wouldn't let him, his hold strong enough to ensue that he couldn't get away, but not to have any harm done.

"Please," Justin knew what he was asking.

"It was nothing Brian, just-"  
"It means something, Justin, you have a fucking chunk of your skin missing!" His voice had risen and he heard a scared, soft whimper below his head. He felt horrible, again, and sighed, trying to relax. He kissed the top of his head and rested his cheek against the blond hair.  
"Justin...please, just tell me. I won't think anything less of you, I just want to know who did this and what happened...please," Brian repeated again.

"Mmn," Justin's low voice was muffled against his shirt.  
"Who?"  
"Ben," He repeated, in his same low voice, but Brian heard it as if he'd yelled it in his ear.

"What...Ben?...Ben?! Ben! I'm going to fucking KILL him!" He started to walk away to grab his Vette's keys and kill the 'good' professor, but Justin tugged on his hand.

"No, wait, I-I-I need to redo my bandages, and it hurts too much to do it myself, I need your help," He said and Brian quickly stopped struggling. Justin wasn't really in any serious pain, but he had to do something to stop Brian from hurting someone. That someone namely Ben. He knew Brian would drop it if he told him that he was in pain. At least for a little while.

Justin handed him the piece of gauze to cover his wound, and the tape that helps it stay.

"I know what to do," Brian said softly. He remembered doing this to his own wounds when he was younger, when his old man came home. He forced those thoughts out of his head, he'd already put it behind himself, he told himself, and to focus on the blonde in front of him.

Brian gently, so as to not cause too much pain to the younger man, placed the gauze against the wound and grabbed some tape, taping it in the corners to make it stay on. He winced whenever his blonde boy winced, and at last, he was done.

Acting purely on extinct, at least to his Justin, he leaned down and placed a kiss to the top of the wound. Unable to stop, he placed little, soft wet kisses all around the bandage. His hands found their way to his hips and held him as he continued.

Justin couldn't believe Brian was trying to 'kiss it better', like he did when he accidentally got hurt, like scrapped a knee or stubbed a toe, before...Ethan, but he didn't say anything, for he longed to have the feeling of his lips on his skin on these nights when he couldn't see the hazel eyes of the one that held his heart.

Brian continued to kiss until the whole perimeter of the wound was kissed. He had felt the blonde shivering occasionally by the intimate act, and that just fueled him on even more.

All of a sudden Justin turned around. Brian looked down into the blue eyes of his lover, before he felt hesitant raspberry lips press against his own. He was too startled to respond and Justin took that as rejection. He quickly backed up and started to grab his bag.

"I'm sorry, I-I should be going I-" The rest of his response was cut off when Brian's lips found their way to the younger man's again. Justin responded immediately, his mouth opening and his tongue sliding against Brian's.

Clothes were quickly shed, as they stumbled from the bathroom to the bedroom. Justin stepped out of his underwear, and Brian pushed Justin, and he landed on the bed. He winced when he felt his bandaged wound press against the bed. He saw Brian's eyebrows began to draw down in concern. He grabbed onto the back of his head and crushed his lips to his, silently telling him that he was okay.

Before Brian could do anything, he found himself on his back with Justin sitting on his stomach. Brian panted and looked at the blond angel above him.

Justin took a deep breath to calm himself and reached over towards the nightstand, grabbing a condom and lube. He scooted back until he felt the older man's dick rub against his hole, and he placed the two objects on Brian's ribs.

Brian looked up at Justin and heard the sound of a condom wrapper tearing. He looked down to see a condom rolled onto his cock. Justin grabbed the lube and handed it to him.

Brian popped open the cape and squirted some onto his fingers. He rolled it around to warm it up, and generously coated his two fingers.

Justin leaned forward, began to gently kiss the auburn haired man. Brian's tongue fought with the pink one of his lovers, and reached back behind him. He pressed his coated fore finger against his hole and felt him jump slightly. He gently rubbed up and down and swallowed the moans emanating from the man above him.

Justin pulled back and sucked in deep breaths when he felt his finger enter him. He breathed sharply, but he quickly settled down, his eyes glazing slits. Brian quickly added another finger, watching Justin begin to fuck himself on the digits.

"Bri," Justin moaned out and bounced harder on his fingers.

Brian moaned and pulled his fingers out, as Justin groaned at the loss. Brian's hands found their way to his hips and gingerly pulled him toward him.

Justin leaned back and grabbed a hold of the base of Brian's cock. Brian stifled a moan as he felt the tip of his cock bump with the younger man's hole.

Justin slowly lowered himself until the fat head disappeared inside of him. His breath hitched as felt the oh so familiar stretch.

With his eyes squeezed tightly, he lowered himself until he was sitting on his lap. He bit his lip and took a deep breath.

Brian licked his lips and stroked Justin's hipbone. When Justin looked at him, he saw in his eyes the silent question.

"I haven't bottomed since I've been with you. I only topped with Ethan," Justin said, in answer to taking longer then usual to adjust.

Brian nodded, realizing the significance of the statement. This meant that no one had been inside his baby except for him. He forced himself not to react outwardly. It would look a little silly for him to be inside him with a big smile on his face that obviously wasn't for being inside of him. But wasn't that the problem? Not showing him that he cared about him, what he said or did?

Brian smiled.

Justin appeared startled at first but quickly got over it, giving him a sunshine smile in return.

He slowly lifted himself up until just the head was inside, and lowered himself down until he was flat on his lap. Both men moaned softly. Justin repeated the motion, this time ending with a harder landing. Justin tossed his head back and licked his lips. The pleasure coursing thru his veins was intense; he'd almost forgotten what it felt like for Brian to be inside him. Almost.

Justin continued to rise and fall on Brian's hard cock. In no time at all, he was wildly bouncing hard, his hands on the auburn haired man's shoulders trying to steady himself.

"Briaaaaan," Justin drew out the name and whimpered as he felt Brian's hot rod hit his prostate.

Brian cried out as Justin's anal walls tightened on his throbbing member.

"Brian, t-touch me, pleeeease," Justin's hands clenched on his shoulders and sweat dribbled down from his forehead.

Brian kept his left hand on the bouncing boys waist as his right one went to his cock, quickly rubbing and jacking in time with Justin's thrusts.

"Yes!" Justin cried as he didn't bother to pull up anymore, just jabbing his prostate harder and harder.

"Justin," Brian moaned out, and dragged his thumb across Justin's leaking profusely head.

Justin gritted his teeth to quiet his orgasm but it didn't do much as he screamed Brian's name, his cum covering his chest and parts of Brian's abs.

Justin's wet hole constricted hard all around Brian's shaft, and he gave himself to his orgasm, yelling out his lover's name.

Justin immediately flopped down onto his chest, his cum sticking them together. His breath was ragged as he fought to keep his heart from jumping out of his chest.

Brian licked his lips again and nuzzled the top of his baby's head. He would be hard pressed to remember any orgasm that was more intense than this one.

Justin snuggled up against his lover and moaned softly when he felt his lover's cock slip from his thoroughly fucked hole.

Justin murmured something about taking a nap, and buried himself deeper into Brian's neck.

Brian kissed the top of his head and heard the even breathing, telling him that his blonde bombshell was, indeed, asleep.

Brian slowly reached down and extricated his condom off of his cock. He tied a knot in it to keep what little cum was left in it, most of it had washed out over his dick, and tossed it in the trashcan beside his bed.

Brian wrapped his arms around his favorite lover. He missed holding him like this, and now he was determined to not make the same mistake he'd done before; he planned on making his lover stay.

\----------------------------- 

Justin sighed as he snuggled into the warm, familiar arms. He kept his eyes closed and kissed his neck. He felt Brian begin to move, and the events of the day before came crashing back to him. He tensed immediately.

Brian about said something when he felt the soft body on top of him turn to a stone figure.

Brian looked down and saw Justin tentatively look up into the warm hazel eyes. He was glad to see no regret, repulsion, or anger in those eyes and he calmed down a little more. As long as he wasn't mad at him. He sighed again and stretched out, cringing when he heard the sound of dried cum breaking apart.

"Yuck," He said softly and Brian laughed. Brian gently pulled himself away from his lover and grimaced at the hard white substance on both their chests. He reached out a hand that Justin stared at for a minute, but eventually took it. He looked up from the hand into the older man's eyes.

"We need a shower. We reek." Was all he said as they ventured into the shower together.

\----------------------------- 

Brian was layed out across the couch with his favorite person in between his legs, resting his head against his chest. Before they had gotten into the shower, they had disposed of Justin's bandage, and seeing as how it wasn't bloody, they decided to not put any more gauze on it. They had methodically washed each other, both glad to be in each other's arms again, but afraid to put their feelings into words. Now they were sitting in silence, Brian with a pair of pants, top button undone, and Justin's cargos riding low on his hips.

Brian kissed the top of his blonde's head and nuzzled it. He loved doing it, and he didn't think he could ever stop. He sighed and knew that they had to talk, and not just about what to do with Ben.

"Justin?" Brian began.

Justin tensed slightly, but forced himself to remain calm. Of course this would happen, Brian would fuck him and throw him out. He didn't think he could handle seeing the angry eyes of his now supposedly ex-lover telling him to get out of his house, that it was nothing but a fuck to make the younger man feel better, and to forget what Ben did to him.

Justin started to get up, but Brian held to his hips.

"I think we need to talk," He said haltingly.

Justin thought he'd never seen or heard him before; talk? That was a new one.

Justin said nothing.

"Brian, you don't have to tell me anything about how your sorry that Ben did this to me or whatever," Justin felt Brian tense at the man's name, "but I understand if earlier was just a f-fuck," He was glad when his voice sounded monotonous, except for his stutter; he didn't think about it as a fuck.

Brian realized, then, what must be running thru his head. He laughed and felt horrible when he felt the blonde tense and saw him squeeze his eyes shut. He probably thought that he was laughing _at_ him.

"Justin-"  
"I understand Brian," Justin started to get up, but Brian pulled him back down.  
"Brian-"  
"I want you to come home." Justin froze. Had he heard him correctly?  
"W-what?" He looked up into the seemingly alien hazel eyes.  
"I...want you...to come...home," He said slowly, and grinned at the shocked face above him.

Suddenly, Justin was furious.  
"You asshole, you fucking scare me, thinking your going to toss me out, then you ask me to come back, you...asshole!" He shouted again for lack of a better word. Justin felt his bottom lip begin to tremble, but he forced himself to remain calm. No matter how many years they knew each other, he was still Brian's little emotional twat.

Brian was startled by the outburst, but quickly hid it, gathering the blonde in his arms, stroking the back of his head. He felt hot tears pierce into his flesh where Justin's face lay.

"Asshole," Justin muttered, watery thru his tears, but clutched at the older man's sides, almost as if in fear that he would go away and this would all be one fabulous dream.

Brian kissed the top of his head.  
"I know."

Justin sniffled and turned his head slightly so he could wipe his errant tears. He looked into the face of the man he loved. "Brian...I don't want to trick. If we...I can't go back to the way things were. I can't. I understand that you need to trick, you feel this urge, and I don't care, I really don't, but just...don't do it in front of me, okay? And if I come back here, if I come back here to live, I don't want them at the loft either. And no more date nights. I hated those things and they made me feel as if I was a piece of meat that was just tossed around..." His voice trailed off as he closed his eyes, suddenly feeling emotionally exhausted.

Brian tightened his hold on his boy.

"And I wanna go on a date." Justin stated and waited for the reaction.

"Justin-"  
"I know you don't do dates, but I do, and I want to do them. Maybe not every night, but once in a while I'd like to go out somewhere other then the Diner to get something to eat," Justin looked up at Brian.

Brian rolled his lips into his mouth and looked at Justin, and knew he would do anything again if it meant that he would be with him again.

Brian kissed the tip of his nose and Justin smiled.

Justin looked expectantly at the man next to him, and as he felt his lips press against his own, he knew he'd found his answer. He was here to stay.

\----------------------------- 

That Evening, 7:45 

Brian looked down at Justin sleeping peacefully. Justin had called Ian a couple hours ago to let him know that he would be by tomorrow to pick up his things. Then he hung up with the babbling musician trying to talk to him, but Brian didn't care, and neither did Justin. They were where they belonged. He kissed him on the lips softly and got up, began walking towards the loft door. He'd left his baby a note, saying something about going to the store to get something, but really he was going to confront Ben. They'd spent all day fucking and sucking, and he hadn't had time to talk to him, much less get out of the loft.

So here he was, standing outside Michael and Ben's apartment, waiting for one of them to answer. The door opened and Ben appeared, sweat pants riding low, with a baggy shirt on.

"Michael's not here, he went to the store, so if you'll excuse me," Ben began to close the door and Brian stuck his foot in to stop the progression of the door.

"Actually, I came here to see you," He replied and tried to keep a bottle on the rage that he was feeling.

"Me?" Ben looked confused.

"You." He said with his tongue-in-cheek smirk planted firmly in place. He entered the apartment and closed the door. He turned around slowly and looked at the muscular man in front of him. Suddenly, before Ben could tell what was happening, he was shoved against the right wall. Brian gripped the older man's triceps hard and Ben's startled blue eyes looked into furious hazel ones.

"You ever fucking touch Justin again and I'll make sure they never find where I put your dead body," He spoke in a calm, deadly voice.

Ben's eyes widened in surprise and then he toughened, threatening to push the offending man off of him.  
"What the f-" His inquiry was cut off when Brian's fist made contact with his face. He was sent hurdling towards the table, and crashed into a chair.

"Do you fucking hear me?!" Brian practically hollered. Ben got shakily up and was about to do something when the door suddenly opened.

"Sorry I'm late, there was--Brian!" Michael exclaimed, and then noticed the rapid breathing of the men. His heart lurched until he got a look at the red mark on his lover's face.

"What, Brian, did you hit him!?" Michael rushed to his lover's side.

Brian was about to reply when Ben beat him to the question.

"We were just kidding around, and I fell against the chair, hitting my face on the floor, and Brian was trying to help me up when he fell too, but we're okay now." Ben looked at Brian, and Brian knew he wouldn't have any more trouble. He better not have.

Brian nodded his silent acknowledgement and began towards the door.

"Brian, wait, what did you come here for?"  
"Just to see something Mikey, but it's okay now." Before Michael could respond, the apartment door was closing.

\----------------------------- 

Brian stripped off the rest of his clothing and eased into the bed, Justin immediately curling against his side. Brian sighed and wound himself against the warmth.

"I hope you didn't hit him too hard," Justin replied and kissed the smooth chest.

Brian laughed and knew that they would be okay; come baseball bats, fiddle music, or steroids. They'd be okay.

Brian fell asleep with Justin curled next to him.


End file.
